Canuck Script (2)
Tue Jun 22, 2021 12:00

Canoodles wanders in the woods along to Radiohead’s ‘No Surprises’

Super-8 flashbacks superimposed on crisp images of Canoodles, The Killer, walking through craggy woods.

Panning off his shoulder, a dirty grey sweater, up to sunlight piercing leaves.

roll MAIN CREDITS over these images

Rocky outcroppings underfoot

Some blood-spatter on his sweater

From his rough hands we pan down to old Converse sneakers.

He’s holding a knife in one hand.

‘siiilence, siiilence,’ sings Thom Yorke

Nature, vegetation, bird chirping, celluloid flashbacks…

Canoodles slowly walks to the edge of a cliff…

Our camera is hovering mid-air, off the edge staring back at him…

He is wearing the Cat Mask, stained with blood-streaks

He raises his hands behind his head and begins to remove the mask but we only catch a flash of face before we cut to



CUT TO cabin with a short-wave radio set up, a microphone, a receiver, some speakers.

The Camp Radio DJ is one of the senior staff at Camp Coyodel although we get the impression that his heart is no longer into it. His announcements will be a running joke throughout the film.

Camp Radio DJ: Well, good news everybody, the ice caps are melting but a much faster rate than we expected, a glacier the size of New York State just calved off the Polar ice shelf. On a more local note, I think I’ve got haemorrhoids! Believe it or not, today our campers finally arrive, those little balls of piss and vinegar will land at our doors at noon today. This is the day we’ve all been prepping for these past two weeks. Or t’s show our campers that ol’ Camp Coyodel spirit!

CUT TO parking lot with yellow school-buses. Parents are saying goodbye to their children and dropping them off to get sorted into their cabins and age groups.

Various counsellors holding clipboards are calling out names in the background.

We track along the parking as various campers embrace and end our shot on a group of girls standing in front of a school-bus with a sign plastered on one side that spells out CANOODLES. These are a few of our PRIMARY CHARACTERS.

They are LUCINDA (13), AVERY (12), SASHA (12) and LAKSHMA (12)

A mean girl walks up to the four girls.

Mean girl: This isn’t the ticket line for Lilith Fair, is it?

Lucinda raises up her middle finger.

Lucinda: Why don’t you rotate on this?

Mean girl: Good luck with your co-ed cabin, loser.

We now cut to a group of boys standing in front of the bus. They also belong to the Canoodles Cabin.

They are JAKE (12), ABDUL (12), PEDRO (13) and WOLFY (12).

Abdul: Don’t say it.

Pedro: Say what?

Abdul: That you’re happy to see me.

Pedro: That I waited all year for this?

Abdul: Yeah. Don’t get mushy on me. Intimacy makes me uncomfortable.

Pedro: Well, I’m happy to see you too.

Jake looks up from the book he’s reading…

Abdul: And how are things in your world?

Jake: Fine, thank you.

Abdul: Have you made any progress on the whole, talking to other human beings problem?

Jake: I don’t view it as much of a problem.

Pedro: You’re missing out on everything beyond that book of you’re: Experience the real thing for yourself, not second hand.

Jake puts his book away.

Jake: Who are you?

Wolfy: I’m Wolfy. My mother bought the camp.

Abdul: You must be super rich. (Wolfy shrugs in response) Just so you know, whatever privilege you have on the ‘outside’ won’t hold much sway this summer.

Wolfy: Sure. I don’t really expect it to.

Pedro: Don’t give him the third degree. I’m Pedro. This is Abdul and Jake. We’re Coyodel long-haulers. This is our fifth summer together.

  • Canuck Script Reggie, Wed Jun 16 09:49
    Canoodles wanders in the wood along to Radiohead’s ‘No Surprises’ A dirty grey sweater Sunlight piercing leaves roll MAIN CREDITS over these images Rocky outcroppings underfoot Some blood-spatter on... more
    • Canuck Script (2) Redjeans, Tue Jun 22 12:00
      • Canuck script Anonymous, Sat Aug 7 18:06
        i really should start preparing for plan A
      • Days In The Wake A.A., Tue Jun 29 16:15
        Palace Brothers I Am A Cinematographer [1994]
        • Re: Redjeans, Sat Jul 17 15:41
          dis song rulez - rj
Click here to receive daily updates
Alpha... Delta... Gamma... Everybody’s smoked.